


Only In My Dreams

by AlexisTheAuthor



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-02-18 20:39:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13108125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexisTheAuthor/pseuds/AlexisTheAuthor
Summary: Rey and Kylo keeps seeing each other through the force and last time they met, their fingers touched. What could this lead to?





	1. Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii. If anyone reads this I will be so honoured xD I've never really written (and definitely not posted) any fanfiction so when I wrote this as an apology gift to my friend, I suddenly got the idea to post it here to try it out. (I haven't proofread it cause it's 6 am and I haven't slept yet and it sort of just happened ahaha)  
> I hope you enjoy it! :D

In the last couple of weeks Rey had been experiencing an oddity. She kept feeling Kylo Ren's presence and he appeared before her. Each time it felt more awkward. The first time she had sweared and shouted at him, but it kept happening at the most odd times, and after a while she ran out of things to shout at him. It wasn't as if she could control it. She was just happy it hadn't happened while she was in a lesson with Luke, or worse, taking a shit. A week ago it had even happened in a moment where Kylo had no shirt on, and despite her initial disgust the image kept coming back to her. She didn't know why, but each time he appeared shirtless in her dreams she would wake up with a start. Other times the dream went further and she woke up in a pool of sweat and it was as if she could still feel his hands on her. She tried to shake the feeling each time she woke up, and she chose to ignore it all throughout the day. She felt haunted by him.  
This night was different though. Instead of awaking from her nightmare in the morning, she was woken by it in the middle of the night. Her gasp echoed through the small round hut as she sat up with a start. She was panting and sweating, but she soon realised that it was the middle of the night. She hesitantly laid back down on the bed and tried to calm her breathing, but she didn't have anything to distract her with, so her thought began to wander to Kylo. She closed her eyes as she imagined his hands on her, like in her dream. She traced her own hand where she imagined he touched her. Up her side and across her chest before she gently closed it around her neck. She didn't squeeze, it was a gentle touch. She then trailed her hand down her body again and loosened her robes. She slid her hand under them and into her underwear. Her cold fingers met her wet folds and she parted them. She wetted the tip of her finger, before she brought it up to her clit. She gently pushes her now wet finger against it and ran it back and forth, causing her to whimper softly. In her mind she imagined how Kylo had pushed her onto the bed and was so frivolously touching her. She circled her finger around her clit and her lips parted in a soft moan. She imagined him whisper dirty phrases in her ear as she started moving her finger faster and faster. Soon she was gasping for her breath and his name crossed her lips, followed by a moan. It was then that she felt the usual pull of the force and she gasped in embarassment as she opened her eyes wide and saw him standing by the foot of her bed. She quickly pulled her hand out of her clothes and felt how her face quickly heated up as her cheeks flushed red. "B-Ben!" she whimpered again, this time in shock.  
He parted his lips as he let his gaze wander over her tight fitting clothes. She found his gaze to be intense, but it only fueled the fire inside her. She was too embarrased and proud to admit it of course. It was then that she noticed what he was wearing. It wasn't his usual clothes, but instead he was shirtless and wearing only a pair of dark silk pajama bottoms. His eyes met hers and she found them darker than usual. It was then, that she realised that he hadn't reacted to her saying his name. He slowly moved closer to her and she widened her eyes. Their last encounter had involved a brief touch of their fingers. She wasn't sure what he was capable of doing to her, but she feared the worst. He was most likely able to choke her, but for some reason she still trusted him. She knew there was good in him. She sat up to somehow counter his movement, but he merely sat down next to her, without touching her. She once again felt his eyes on her, and suddenly warm fingers pressed against her little bundle of nerves. She arched her back and let out a whimper. She had not expected that. His touch was so much more than a normal touch. His force touch was special and she felt little electric sparks move from his fingers and into her, making her writhe from the mere simple touching her was doing. She gripped onto his shoulder from the sudden explosion of pleasure and she moaned his name. The touching must have done something to him as well cause she heard him inhale sharply and she opened her eyes to find him staring at her lips with an almost enchanted expression. Rey felt the world tilt as he pushed her back onto the bed. He crashed his lips against hers in a passionate hungry kiss, as his fingers moved against her clit. She moaned out and lifted her hips up against his hand. She returned the passionate kiss and any thought against him had disappeared. All she wanted now was his electric touch and the feeling of him moving against her.  
She whimpered for more as he slipped a finger into her, her hips once against lifting against his hand. He obeyed and slipped another finger into her, but she still didn't feel like it was enough. He pumped them in and out of her slowly, making her pant and move her hips with him. He moved his head and started trailing kisses down her neck. He gently nibbled and sucked at her skin. She felt her clothes slip off her shoulders as he used the force to undress her and as soon as her breasts were exposed his lips were there, sucking and kissing them, making her whimper his name and pull his luscious black hair. She never wanted him to stop. He flicked his tongue against her hard nipples and she arched her back with a yelp.  
"Ben! Oh god! p-please!"  
He lifted his head at her words and growled deeply, "It's Kylo." His deep voice made her shiver and she nodded compliantly.  
"Please, Kylo...." she whimpered, more quietly this time. "I need more."  
He roughly pulled the rest of the clothes off her body so she was naked underneath him. She felt bashful as she looked up at him. His hair hung over his face, hiding some of his features. His shoulders were broad and lovely, and ever so slightly scarred from his battles. She reached up and lovingly brushed the long dark locks out of his face, and her eyes met his dark ones as he took in the sight of her, completely naked beneath him.  
"You are.... breathtaking." he quietly admitted, his deep voice once against igniting something in Rey.  
He spread her legs with his warms hands and trailed kisses up her thighs, making her once again lose her concentration and just focus on the sensation of his soft lips pressing against her sensitive skin. He then laid himself down between her legs and lifted them up, placing them over his shoulders. She felt him fiddle with his trousers and her breath hitched in her throat as she realised what was about to happen. She was scared, because she had never done this before, yet all she wanted was to feel him inside her, filling her up. She felt how her crotch was painfully aching for him and she wanted nothing but to obey the pull. And then she felt it. The head of it pressed against her entrance and she gripped onto the hard bed as she braced herself. He didn't thrust in hard and fast as she had expected. Perhaps he had sensed her fear. Instead he slowly pushed into her inching his way closer to her core. She felt how his massive size stretched her walls and she arched her back as her mouth fell open in a silent moan. The feeling was overwhelming. He came to a halt when he was fully inside her. She felt the soft bump of his hips meeting flush against hers. She breathed heavily and gasped for air. Her eyes were closed and she was trying her best to accomodate for his considerate size. She then felt his warm, soft hand brush against her cheek and a small smile appeared on her lips. She opened her eyes and looked into his as he pulled out of her slowly and pushed back in. Despite knowing that love making usually was more than this, Rey already felt like she was ready to burst. Slowly but surely Kylo picked up speed with his thrusts. His hands founds her and their fingers entangled as their hips met over and over in their passionate love making. Rey enjoyed the feeling of him filling her over and over, pushing in places she hadn't known existed, making her whole body shake with pleasure. He moved her legs down to change the position and she wrapped them tightly around him with no intention of letting go. Their chests slid against each other. They were both sweating now and their hair clung to their faces but they didn't care. All they felt were the other's body against theirs, and the intense pleasure. Rey felt how the force pushed and pulled between them as they touched in the most intimate way, making the experience so much more intoxicating. She never wanted it to stop and it felt like it never would.  
He wrapped his hand around her throat and just like she imagined, his touch was gently and he only used it to turn her head to the side to suck and nibble on her neck. She buried her hands in his hair and her legs tightened around him as she felt an unfamiliar feeling build. Rey whimpered Kylo's name over and over as the pleasure grew. Suddenly the pleasure washed over her like a hot wave. Her grip on his hair tightened. He felt bigger inside her as her walls pulled together. She cried out in pleasure and her legs trembled as he continued slamming into her at an alarming pace. She felt something hot shoot inside her and he slowly slowed down his thrusts, until they both laid still, gasping for air.  
They laid like that for what felt like forever, and Rey enjoyed the feeling of his weight on top of her. As she regained her strength she started playing gently with his hair. His head were laying on her chest and she looked down at him, smiling. After a long while he lifted his head, but instead of meeting her gaze like she wished he kissed softly along her collar bone, making her sigh happily. She had had no idea that this man, could make her feel such wonderful things. He looked up and met her gaze like she wanted.  
"Rey," he whispered with much feeling, but then he was gone. Just like that. The warm fulfilling feeling of him inside her disappeared and all she was left with was herself and her feelings of fear, confusion, regret and longing. She didn't know what to do now. She had to go see him. He was going to turn. He had to. If not for the light side, then at least for her.


	2. The Opponent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo takes Rey to Snoke. This chapter is completely skipable if you don't feel like rereading something from the movie(TLJ), but it really isn't that long in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii, I'm sorry it took me a while to update this! It's a bit of a filler chapter, so it was hard to write, cause I didn't feel motivated to write it :/ But here it is. I'm already working on more interesting stuff. Next chapter will be fluffy I think. xD

The day after what happened she had decided to leave, and not long after she departed in the Millennium Falcon. She was going to see him. She had seen it, and she knew he would turn if she went to him. She just had to reach him. So, when they traveled there via lightspeed, she changed her outfit and put herself in a pod, sending herself shooting towards his ship. 

When she arrived, he was waiting. As she looked out of her little window from the pod as the smoke dissipated his eyes met hers, and she nervously took a deep breath as the pod opened. He wasn’t wearing his helmet. As he turned away from her and started walking she furrowed her brow. This wasn’t going to be as easy as she had first anticipated was it? The pod opened and two stormtroopers stepped up to her, helping her out roughly and cuffing her hands. They took her lightsaber as well, so she was unarmed. She felt naked without it. 

Kylo led the way and the stormtroopers pushed her behind him. She didn’t like this. They pushed her into the elevator and she almost tripped. The stormtroopers gave Kylo her lightsaber. She didn’t see what he did with it, as she quickly turned her back to him. She was standing a bit in front of him and felt more out of place and embarrassed than she thought she would. She had been expecting his eyes on her back, but she could feel that he wasn’t looking, but instead just staring straight ahead. Why? She wanted to ask, but she was afraid to speak. The tension between them was almost solid. Last time they saw each other was only driven by passion. Few words had been exchanged, and she feared now that it had been a mistake.

The elevator doors closed, and the elevator started moving up. She knew where he was taking her. He was taking her to Snoke as he had undoubtedly been ordered to.  
She mentally took a deep breath in preparation and then spoke softly, without turning to look at him, but just continuing to watch the elevator doors. 

“You don’t have to do this.” There was no answer. She could sense that he didn’t even move. But she knew that he was listening. She continued. “I feel the conflict in you.” Still no reaction. She turned her head ever so slightly towards him, so she could see him out of the corner of her eye. “It’s tearing you apart.” Still he remained immobile. She turned to him completely and watched him with concern. Living under Snoke’s manipulation couldn’t be easy. He would have to break free. 

“Ben.” She spoke softly, and his eyes finally met hers as if his true name crossing her lips summoned him to her, just as it had that night. Although this time, he didn’t ‘correct’ her. He merely looked at her with an indescribable emotion that Rey could only interpret as sadness and conflict, perhaps even pain. 

“When we touched hands, I saw the future.” Her voice was firm and sure. She knew how this was going to go now. She knew she could get through to him. As she looked at him, she felt even more sure. “Just the shape of it but solid and clear.” She stepped closer to him and looked up at him with determination. “You will not bow before Snoke.” She looked down at his heart and stepped even closer, gently and lovingly placing her hands on his chest, despite the handcuffs. She looked him in the eyes and said surely, “You’ll turn.” 

She closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest and let the calm feeling of his nearness wash over her. He moved his gloved hand onto the small of her back and she felt his chin resting gently atop her head.  
She quietly whispered, “I’ll help you… I saw it.”  
There was a brief silence where they just held each other close and the only sound was the sound of the elevator.

Kylo finally spoke. “I saw something too.” Rey furrowed her brow and moved her head from his chest to look up at him. “Because of what I saw, I know when the moment comes, you will be the one to turn. You’ll stand with me.”

She pulled slightly away from him and felt hurt and confused. She hoped it wasn’t true, but why would he lie? Perhaps he had seen wrong? But that would mean she could be wrong too. What did all this mean? Was it a mistake coming here? For the first time since deciding to come here, she felt genuinely unsure and worried. Her conviction that he had good in him and could turn was still strong, but for the first time she felt doubt. 

“Rey,” he spoke her name softly, but this time wasn’t like the last, and she felt hurt. “I saw who your parents are.” She stepped further away from him, so she was almost by the elevator doors. Hurt was written all over her face, although she tried to hide it. 

The elevator stopped, and the doors started to slide open. She turned away from Kylo to look through the doors and face her next big challenge. 

 

Everything went so fast. She tried everything to stop Snoke, but she was helpless against him. Se ended up on her knees in front of Kylo, looking up at him. Their eyes met again and as Snoke spoke of Kylo’s resolve she felt the pit of fear in her stomach. But he didn’t strike her down, instead he killed Snoke. They fought the guards together and their bodies moved together as they did that night. The other’s body felt as an extention of them and they flowed perfectly. Then the fighting stopped.

Kylo had her lightsaber and he was stood across the floor. She begged him to save the resistance, but he didn’t listen. He just wanted her to join him in his mission to rule the universe. She felt incredibly betrayed by this. She left him and the battle continued for a while, before she and the other rebels escaped in the millennium falcon.  
When her eyes met his just before she closed the ship’s doors she knew that it wasn’t Snoke that had created their bond as he had claimed. She was glad it wasn’t Snoke, but it just made her feel even more betrayed. So, she closed the doors on him. This was goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I know it mostly follows the plot of the movie, but I just wanted to add in their feelings and such. (And I did make the elevator scene more cuddly so!  
> Hopefully this is spaced out better than the last one.


	3. Bedtime Rumination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo is trying to sleep, but the force bond shows its face again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh I kinda finished this chapter last night, but I had just posted the previous one, so I decided to wait until today with this one. I hope you enjoy! :D

Kylo was in his chambers and he was trying to sleep, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t rest. He kept twisting and turning. No matter what position he laid in he couldn’t sleep. His thoughts kept wandering to Rey. And he kept cursing himself, because she betrayed him. She did not deserve to be in his thoughts. He should not still be longing for her, but he couldn’t stop. He didn’t know what to do. He just wanted to try and forget her, so he no longer hurt. Now that he was supreme leader he had every chance at a happy ending, which he felt he deserved after all the bullshit he had been through. Ruling the Universe would be his happy ending. He would then have everything he wanted…. Except her. He cursed again and turned onto his other side. 

Then he felt a foreign yet familiar feeling. It was the pull of the force, and he sensed Rey’s presence, but he could not see her. He turned, slowly, to his other side. There she was. She was also laying on her side, with her back to him. She was still asleep, but she stirred when she felt his presence, but she didn’t wake up. 

He watched her back as she breathed calmly in her sleep, and he wanted to reach out and touch her. He was not sure if he wanted to choke her or hold her close, so he did nothing. He just laid there, and enjoyed her presence. She was only lightly dressed. Her clothes looked soft and exposed her shoulders. A blanket laid over her, but it had slid down a little. Her hair was down, and it cascaded out behind her and looked incredibly soft. 

Kylo didn’t understand. Why now? She was obviously asleep, so this wasn’t her doing. She didn’t pull him here. Unless she was dreaming about him? He couldn’t imagine she was. She didn’t want him anyway after all. It had all been a trick to fool him to be her slave. He clenched his fists and thought about wrapping them around her neck, but it wasn’t long before he felt guilty for wanting to destroy such a soft woman. It was as if just her presence near him calmed him. Despite how much he wanted to be angry, and despite how much he wanted to hate her… He just couldn’t. 

He watched as she shivered slightly, and he furrowed his brow. She was cold. Perhaps she was in space aboard the Mi- He didn’t finish the thought. He didn’t want to be thinking about his father’s ship right now. His father who had died at his hand. He shut his eyes and let out a shaky sigh as he tried to suppress the feelings. It was still tearing him apart. Even after all this time. It felt like he had ignited the lightsaber only moment earlier. When he was asked to do it again to Rey. He couldn’t. Instead he betrayed his master and lost any hold on himself he had. He felt utterly and completely lost, but he wouldn’t admit it. Following Snoke’s teachings would be his path. He knew no other way. Every person from the light he had ever been close to had betrayed him. He had hoped Snoke wouldn’t betray him, but he did. For Rey. And then she betrayed him moments after. She could just have said no. It would still hurt, but it wouldn’t have hurt as much. 

He opened his eyes again as a single tear left his eye. Rey had turned in her sleep and was now facing him. He parted his lips surprised. He had not felt her move at all. Her face looked as peaceful as her back. Her eyebrows weren’t furrowed as they were when she looked at him, and her eyes weren’t teary as they were last he saw them. They were just closed. Closed off to him. She had denied him, when he made his most vulnerable plead. He just didn’t want to be alone with this feeling anymore. He knew she understood him. At least he thought she did. When they had used to talk through the force bond, she had showed compassion for him, but it had seemed completely gone as she closed the doors in his face. He turned his head away from her and tried to break free. He wanted to leave, yet he wanted to stay. She still made him feel vulnerable even after her betrayal. It was worse than it had been with his parents and his uncle, and he didn’t understand why.

She shifted again. This time he noticed. There was a faint shiver and she edged closer to him. His breath caught in his throat. She was almost touching him. His facial features softened as she laid there. As vulnerable as she could be. He didn’t want to hurt her, no matter how much she had hurt him. He slowly lifted his hand, but stopped as he held it above her. He probably shouldn’t touch her. He didn’t want to scare her. Instead he gently hooked his finger under her blanket and pulled it over her properly, so her shoulders were covered as well. A faint smile appeared on her lips and she hugged the blanket around her. Somehow her fingers ended up brushing against his chest softly and he closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling of her touch, however light. It still made him feel all tingly. He couldn’t describe it. He had been with other women before, but this was different for some reason. 

Suddenly he heard a loud gasp and felt her hands push against his chest. He slid off the bed and down onto his floor. It hurt. He looked up with widened eyes as he heard the battle cry, before Rey appeared from the edge of the bed and jumped onto him, straddling him and holding him down with her legs. He widened his eyes. “Rey! Rey, wait!”

She wrapped her hands around his throat and squeezed which made him widen his eyes even more and grip her hands. “Rey!” he wheezed and tried to pull her hands away, but her grip was very tight.

“YOU’RE A MONSTER!” she yelled as she clumsily choked him. He wasn’t sure if she meant to try and kill him, but she wasn’t doing a very good job at it if she was. Her eyes welled up with tears and she looked incredibly upset like she had that night when he brought her to Snoke. 

He felt the anger well up in him again. She would choke him to death? He had hoped that they could have some redemption, but this proved it wrong. There was no saving for them. They were made to be enemies. He let go of her hands and wrapped his hands around her throat tightly, squeezing so hard she couldn’t breathe. She let go of his neck and gripped his hands to try and pull them away, but with no luck. Her head started getting redder and redder. He flipped them over and pushed her into the floor as he cried out in fury. 

Then suddenly he heard a gasp from someone else. “Ben!” he looked up and met the eyes of another. One that he saw through Rey. It was Leia.

And just like that, they all disappeared. His hands were wrapped around nothing and he fell onto the floor as the pain took form in his chest. For a while he didn’t move. He didn’t have the strength. He just wallowed in the pain and loneliness. He felt more miserable now than he did a moment ago. Even though he was strangling her, being near Rey had made him feel that tiny bit better. 

Then it became too much. He had to let it out. He scrambled to his feet and grabbed his lightsaber. He marched out of his chambers, shirtless, his teeth clenched, his head bowed low and his eyes burning with hate. He ignited the lightsaber and slashed a passing droid into a million pieces. Passing stormtroopers saw him and started to run away, which only fueled his anger. He grabbed them with the force, lifting them up, before slamming them into the floor hard. Other stormtroopers nearby freezed up and stood completely still, afraid to make a single wrong move. It infuriated him even more and he threw them into the wall. 

He continued his furious strut through the ship, but there was nothing to smash or throw against the wall. He had picked a bad way to go. His mother’s voice saying his old name kept replaying in his mind. Her shocked face along with it. It was haunting him. He screamed and screamed, and he swung the lightsaber at nothing. Why wouldn’t it just stop? Why wouldn’t the pain just go away? He had to make it stop. 

He went to the hangar for the ships and scared the shit out of a bunch of Stormtroopers who all ran in a lot of directions as he cut up a ship that was under reparation. With each swing he imagined that he was striking a different enemy. The rebels, Luke, Leia, Fn-2187, Snoke, Han and….. Rey. He stopped and stared at the destroyed ship.

“Supreme leader!” a voice called out and he whipped his head around to see General Hux. “You must stop this, this instant! You are destroying valuable ships!”

Once again the fire returned to Kylo’s eyes. Even his own General would undoubtedly try to kill him in his sleep. He turned and held the lightsaber right in front of Hux’s face. He wanted to run it through it so very bad.

“Please.” Hux said with a shivering voice. He looked scared for a moment, but then got a hold of himself and pulled an almost convincing pokerface. 

Kylo gritted his teeth at him. “Leave me be, or you’re next.” 

Hux nodded hurriedly. “Of course, Supreme Leader. I’m sorry I suggested otherwise.” Kylo then let him go. Regrettedly he needed him. Hux hurried away, leaving Kylo to his own devices. Kylo stared at the wrecked tie fighter for a long time, before turning off his lightsaber and slowly walking back to his chambers. Past the empty hallway and the unconscious stormtroopers and the broken droids. He suppressed his feelings and went to bed, but never slept. He just stared at the wall all night.

“Good night, Rey…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't proofread this one either xD I might do later. Also poor Kylo.


	4. Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time Kylo is asleep as the force bond kicks in. The big question is why.

After last time she encountered him, Rey had isolated herself. Well at least the best she could, given the fact that she was trapped on the Millennium Falcon with everyone that was left of the resistance. She hadn't wanted to talk to anyone at all. Only a few words had been exchanged and most of them had been with Leia. Something about talking to Leia irked her though. She thought it might be the fact that she was Be- Kylo Ren's mother. She didn't know, how someone could live with being the mother to a monster like that.

Rey was still hurt over Ben's betrayal and she often sat with the broken lightsaber in her hands and thought back to that night. It crossed her mind a few times that perhaps she was the one who had reacted wrongly? Had she been too quick to lash back at him? She saw pain in his eyes, more than hate when she had strangled him, but the hate soon came. Or was it just pure rage? She would probably have reacted the same if he had strangled her. 

Rey sighed and turned over onto her other side. She almost fell off the bed when she found him lying next to her. She froze and tried to calm her galloping heart. Where had he come from? She hadn't even felt the pull of the force, but she felt it now. It was dull and almost weak. Were they that close? She didn't know what to do. Would he attack her? She laid completely still for what felt like forever. She slowly realised that he was sleeping. His calm breathing made his chest rise and fall rhythmically and his eyes were closed. He didn't look troubled. He looked almost peaceful. Rey watched him sadly as she realised this was the happiest she had seen ever him. Did he ever smile?

She carefully moved a little closer. He was laying on his back and a black blanket was draped over him, so only his naked shoulders were exposed. Rey brushed a few strands of hair out of his face and gently stroked his cheek, making him furrow his brow in his sleep. She paused the action, afraid he might wake up. She didn't want him to wake up and strangle her again. She just wanted to watch his peaceful face. She didn't want him to be in pain. 

He looked cold. At least she thought so. Space was cold after all. She had learned that when leaving Jakku. She looked down at the blanket and his naked shoulders. She didn't want him to be cold, she told herself. That was the only reason she was doing it. She slid the blanket slightly down his body, exposing his sculpted chest and she took a deep breath at the sight. She shifted closer to him and gently laid her head down on his chest. She could hear the faint and rhythmic beat of his heart and it made her smile. She draped the blanket over both of them and snuggled as close as she could, to share her body warmth with him. She laid still for a while as to not disturb him, but after not long she found herself tracing her fingertips down his arms, feeling every little bump from his muscles. She hated to admit it, but she liked this. She wanted to touch every inch of him. Not necessarily in a sexual way, just... to feel him. To feel their bond. It was a special touch. It made every inch of her shiver and she felt... delight? She could sense the good in him as well, and it was then that she realised that it was still there. She didn't understand why her going to him hadn't worked in turning him to the light.

She looked up at his face and noticed a soft red glow illuminating his face. It hadn't been there before, but she could see his features more easily. His plump lips, his prominent nose and his dark lashes. He looked a little more scruffy-looking than usual. He hadn't shaved so he had slight stubble. It made him look older.

Rey soon caught up to the fact that the red glow hadn't been there earlier and she wondered where it came from. She gently placed her hand on Kylo's shoulder and looked around to see if anyone else was there. She widened her eyes at the sight of a ginger man standing over the sleeping Kylo, with an angry murderous expression on his face and Kylo's sputtering light saber ignited. He was about to swing down and there was no time to move Kylo or wake him up. Rey reached for her broken lightsaber that she had unsuccessfully tried to fix and clicked the on button. Miracolously the weapon switched on, the odd blue light igniting her face as she swung the weapon upwards, blocking Kylo's lightsaber. She panted furiously and she felt Kylo stir by her side. The blue lightsaber flickered and fought bravely through the fight but as Rey felt it's strength start to weaken she teared up in fear. Just as the angry ginger man pulled back the lightsaber to strike downwards again, Kylo jolted awake and froze in place for a brief moment as he took the situation in. Rey could feel his wide eyes on her, but she didn't have time to deal with his feelings. She had to save him. She felt his hand over hers as he grabbed the skywalker lightsaber along with her and it was as if the weapon found new power. It glowed brighter and as the enemy struck again he was thrown back by Rey and Kylo's combined forecepush. The two lightsabers then split from the extreme stress they had been put under. The broken skywalker lightsaber laid next to Kylo's broken lightsaber. For a moment the two stared at them before they sat up, both looking at the unconscious Hux. They then slowly turned to each other.

Rey saw something in Ben's eyes that she wasn't sure she had seen before. He looked... greatful? Scared? Maybe both. There was a moment of silence and then their lips met as their eyes had only moments before, and they kissed each other tenderly. This kiss was different. It wasn't passion filled as the kiss on their night in the hut had been. No. This was emotional. Rey felt herself tear up, but before her tears left her eyes she tasted a salty tear on her lips and she pulled back, only to see Ben crying. She cupped his face.

"It's okay, Ben... everything will be okay. I'm sorry... I'll never leave you again." She rested her forehead against his and they closed their eyes. She felt so much at peace in this very moment.

"I will never leave you either, Rey... I'll be by your side always." He spoke softly and it brought a smile to her lips. In this moment she didn't care about anything else. Only him. Only Ben.

Then of course, his warm presence faded away and she was left with nothing but cold. She opened her eyes and found herself all by herself in the bed. The connection had cut out. She was once again alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh it's been ages! I've been so caught up doing other things. I finally decided to fucking finish this chapter! It's a little rough around the edges cause I haven't proofread it, but I just wanted to get it out there and waiting for it to be perfect is not helping anyone. Thank you to everyone who has left kudos or comments on my other chapters! It really motivates me a lot.


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